Well, it’s been an uphill battle being Jonny Cigar... Zim Zam! Fliminy bada buh bing! Bada buh bing! Bubblybubblydingdang! You see that? Eh? I came up with that – I came up with that, on the spot! Every day, no every second, I am coming up with new ideas, new things that are…new…that ain’t been done before. No one thinks to say the things I say because know one knows what I’m thinking – not even me. I don’t remember the last time I thought about what it is I say because I just say it. But enough about flapjacks and pussycats! I got some purring to do. And you can pass that syrup too! Now it wasn’t always just fun and games. You try bein’ a growin’ boy in small town America - in trailer park fun land USA! There were boundaries in the trailer park and I had to remain within our parameters. If my baseball landed in the neighbors’ yard, it was theirs. Same deal with siblings, which is how I became an only child. And they issued my mother a three-man license, which meant she could see up to but not including three men at once or throughout the year. She could also trade one in as a kind of “get-out-of-jail-free” thing. But I always took care of business with the seat down, cuz it was a challenge! Life was a challenge growing up in the trailer park and I had to lift my leg before someone lifted theirs, as my father always said, or maybe he said, you got a chip on you shoulder, Jonny – well I figured out it was a chocolate chip, and sister, they had to bake me on high for fifteen minutes, just enough time to burn the edges, and leave the middle all soft and gooey. Well I ain’t got a thing at all, but I got lots of plans for tomorrow, just you…wait.
